Do Not Disturb

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Recently, I went to the 80s R& B New Edition concert as a late birthday gift. With my birthday being Dec 27, things are extremely pricey because of the holidays, so what better way than to just wait for the “normal” prices to drop.

Days prior to the concert, I bought lipstick to test out. As not having worn any other than gloss since the pandemic, I had none. I wore it to work and my office coworkers had a lot to say about it. They thought I had a date, but that was wishful thinking.

I can’t remember the last time I really got dressed up to go out. Other than dinner with my girlfriends, which is almost monthly. On the night of the concert, I dressed in a nice pair of skinny black jeans, with a multi-colored top that swung at my knee-high boots. Yes, a fifty-year-old curvy size 14 woman can pull off skinny jeans, you just have to be classy about it.

I sang every New Edition, Bobby Brown, Ralph Tresvant, Johnny Gill & Bell, Biv, Devoe song from the past forty years. As they showed the original videos from each song on the gigantic screens, I saw my old bedroom in my childhood home flash across my mind. I vividly remembered having Bobby Brown’s picture taped to my green wall, since in my head, he was my husband. I tore that picture out of Black Beat magazine. The intermission clips had me dancing in my seat as I remembered all the songs by different the artists from my adolescent days. I had an amazing time.

It exhausted me afterwards because my body does not bounce back like it used to. Having fun was awesome. But the next day, it was back to my regular schedule, working a full-time job, working on this blog and completing my novel. I know it’s a lot, but I am not a person who sits on the sofa and watches life pass me by.

With the many tasks, jammed backed schedules and everything else we do, we must take time to sing and dance if you will. Turn off the phone, tv, computer and any other electronic devices and just be. Be that kid laughing and giggling on the day at the fair or in the yard playing by themselves or with friends.

God gave us this wonderful life to build a wonderful life. That means sometimes we have to put up the Do Not Disturb sign so we can do things that make us happy.

If that means saving up for months for that trip to Fiji, then so be it. Putting off buying your new living room lounge chair your cat destroyed so you can enjoy at night at the theater, then so be it. Becoming a vegetarian for a month so you can save money for those front row concert tickets. Then so be it. Whatever makes your heart and mouth sing like you’re on top of the Himalaya’s, do it. You can’t be good to anyone else until you’re first good to yourself.

Photo by Jill Wellington on

Dear Love, I’ve Unpacked by Baggage

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Dear Love I’ve Unpacked my Baggage

As I sit here and pen this open letter to you, I want you to know it’s going to be long. For I have a lot to say to you and I’m ready to get it out. No longer will I remain quiet because I’m sad and ashamed I failed at keeping my special someone yet again. I’ve been in relationships where I was happy, and I felt loved. One time, I gave love only to find out the relationship was based on false pretenses. When I thought I found the one for me, I endured disappointment because the one for me wanted me to give up my identity to be with them.

As I look back, I can spot a lot of things I could’ve done different. Maybe changing a few things would’ve made them work. On more than one occasion, I’m glad I left because I didn’t want to be treated horribly by the person who said they loved me but didn’t. Other times I stayed, knowing I disapproved of their dreadful habits. However, as time moved on, I hated the person because of their awful demeanor. I couldn’t stay there anymore. I hold the blame for this because I settled for someone who I wasn’t compatible with so I wouldn’t be lonely. As a result, the two of us went our separate ways.

I’m unpacking my bags, because I’m tired of bearing this heavy load. For way too long, have I let this thing called happiness slip through my slim fingers. Insecurities, not being pretty enough, not being smart enough, and being told no one would ever want you. Being told you will never succeed with your goals and dreams. I allowed a former significant other to impact my next relationship because of all the damage I suffered beforehand.

Bringing them with me instead of dealing with them before I entered a new relationship caused me to start the same cycle again. After I took the time to learn to love myself, I realized I had been carrying the weight of all the horrid events that occurred in my life. With clear eyes, I see better. I understand what I want in a relationship and what I don’t. Things I find unsavory in their ways which might cause harm to them or myself, I will not even go near.

How will I recognize when the right one comes? Well God will tell me. But in the meantime, loving me is the best thing that ever happened to me. So, as I end this lengthy letter to you, I can smile and say Dear Love, I’ve Unpacked my Baggage.

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