Dear Love, I’ve Unpacked by Baggage

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Dear Love I’ve Unpacked my Baggage

As I sit here and pen this open letter to you, I want you to know it’s going to be long. For I have a lot to say to you and I’m ready to get it out. No longer will I remain quiet because I’m sad and ashamed I failed at keeping my special someone yet again. I’ve been in relationships where I was happy, and I felt loved. One time, I gave love only to find out the relationship was based on false pretenses. When I thought I found the one for me, I endured disappointment because the one for me wanted me to give up my identity to be with them.

As I look back, I can spot a lot of things I could’ve done different. Maybe changing a few things would’ve made them work. On more than one occasion, I’m glad I left because I didn’t want to be treated horribly by the person who said they loved me but didn’t. Other times I stayed, knowing I disapproved of their dreadful habits. However, as time moved on, I hated the person because of their awful demeanor. I couldn’t stay there anymore. I hold the blame for this because I settled for someone who I wasn’t compatible with so I wouldn’t be lonely. As a result, the two of us went our separate ways.

I’m unpacking my bags, because I’m tired of bearing this heavy load. For way too long, have I let this thing called happiness slip through my slim fingers. Insecurities, not being pretty enough, not being smart enough, and being told no one would ever want you. Being told you will never succeed with your goals and dreams. I allowed a former significant other to impact my next relationship because of all the damage I suffered beforehand.

Bringing them with me instead of dealing with them before I entered a new relationship caused me to start the same cycle again. After I took the time to learn to love myself, I realized I had been carrying the weight of all the horrid events that occurred in my life. With clear eyes, I see better. I understand what I want in a relationship and what I don’t. Things I find unsavory in their ways which might cause harm to them or myself, I will not even go near.

How will I recognize when the right one comes? Well God will tell me. But in the meantime, loving me is the best thing that ever happened to me. So, as I end this lengthy letter to you, I can smile and say Dear Love, I’ve Unpacked my Baggage.

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God’s Grace

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God’s Grace

Have you ever had a time in your life when you needed to start over again? You want to fix the terrible thing that caused hurt and despair. You think back, you can see what you did wrong. However, God is the only one who can turn the hands of time.

Your failed marriage that crashed like a runaway train without brakes. The business that was going to make you rich left you penniless. A dream beach home of yours left your money in sinking sand. The relationship where you assumed you could mold and create your perfect mate turned into dust. You beat yourself up knowing you should have done better.

Every day, people experience setbacks from errors, myself included. For years, I was my worst enemy, berating myself for my mistakes. Talking to God, I asked why awful things happened to me. Not understanding why I endured the pain and struggles. I had questions for God. He answered by telling me to look around. As I did, I looked directly at my wall décor that I created with paint and flowers. It took me several tries to complete the style I was looking for in that piece. At first, I couldn’t comprehend it, then I realized every storm I went through was making me a stronger woman. Strong enough to start my own blog and write a novel which I just finished (Now for the rewrites 😊). Fierce enough to attend the movies, theater, and other places alone. Secure enough to admit my faults.

Failure is a part of growing because you learn lessons to make better decisions. No one can rewrite the past, but with God’s grace, it makes living for the future much better.

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Quote of the Month

~ Pick yourself up & keeping going.~