To Be Loved

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Years ago, I experienced something that I had wished for a long time. This thing I have wanted for many years seemed like it was out of reach for me. Yet God saw fit to let me have it for that very moment.

It felt good to be able to speak to someone and have a conversation on topics that mattered to us both. It felt good to have someone whose interest was in me and not what I could do for them. It felt good knowing that we as a couple could be there for one another and not just for only one. It felt good knowing that whether I was having a good or bad day, I could go to him. It felt good having him in my world. It felt good knowing that I was his and he was mine.

Guess what, it was all that I dreamt of. It was all that I needed. So much so, that when my special man comes into my life again, I will know if he is for me. Simply because God has shown me what it feels like to be loved.

If you’re in my shoes, waiting for you’re someone special to come along, please be patient. God has to work in you first in order for you to be ready to receive the love that He has planned for you. Ephesians 4:2. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

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One Life to Live

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Growing up, I knew I was different because of my skin disorder and my burn scars. I stood out. Unfortunately, that was not in a good way. However, I grew to accept who God made me. Embracing not being the same as everyone made me happy to a point. As I got older, not being the same caused emotional strain because I was not treated fairly. Not wanting to be left out constantly, I tried to fit in. Do the things others were doing in hopes they would let me into their cliques or what have you.

Many years ago, someone told me I should be more like another person. At a young age, my reply was, “I don’t want to walk in anyone else’s shoes.” I’ve always been one to dance to the beat of my own drums and do things as I please.

When I did that, a few things happened I didn’t expect. My reflection in the mirror changed to someone I didn’t know or even like. In trying to find a sense of belonging, I looked to cliques for acceptance, but I endured heartache and pain instead. Without realizing it, I started walking in someone else’s shoes.

Through this unpleasant time, God showed up as He often does in times of distress. He asked me why was I trying to please someone other than Him. My brain couldn’t find an answer because there was none. The only one I should please is Him.  1 Thessalonians 2:4 NLT “Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts”

This was the day I started living for myself and looking for no one’s approval but God’s. This is the day when I smiled because no longer did I carry a burden of upsetting someone for not living up to their expectations. Or doing the things they wanted me to do. This is the day I finally freed myself from not belonging. This is the day I realized I belonged to someone and his name is Jesus, because I am a child of God.

Are you living the life you want to or living for someone else? If you’re not living for yourself, it’s time to because you only have one life to live.

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What If

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In this land we live in, there are so many kinds of people, places and things. There is not one thing that is the same as another. Whether it’s man made or God made. Everything and everyone have their distinct identity.

With each unique being, it troubles me that some people and things are being deliberately shunned because they do not fit a certain mold. That leads me to a state of confusion.

For example, why is a well maintained green and yellow house called an eyesore by other homeowners, whose houses are all gray and blue cookie cutter homes with peeling paint and rotten shutters?

Why is finding larger clothes and shoes sizes harder than small? Yes, it requires more material and labor. I get that.

Why is it harder to find skin products when you have skin disorders, skin diseases, and burn scars?

Why do people in authority positions make rules for others but exclude themselves from such regulations?

Why do some people detest one another because their mirror reflection does not match?

What if that green and yellow house caused other people to see the beauty in it?

What if larger clothes and shoe sizes were just as easy to find as small?

What if finding skin products for people with skin disorders, diseases or burn scars sat right next to other skin products?

What if those high-ranking position holders stopped for a minute to think of themselves being held to the same rules that now exclude them? How would they feel being told that they cannot do something that is vital to their very being?

What if that reflection in the mirror reflected the words Love Thy Neighbor?

When you exclude people, places, and things, you never get to see how beautiful they are because you are looking with darkened eyes. But when you remove your blinders, you will open a whole new world of greatness.

The next time someone tries to dim your light because you don’t fit in, do not dim theirs in retaliation. Show them just how big and bright your light is.

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Dear Love, I’ve Unpacked by Baggage

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Dear Love I’ve Unpacked my Baggage

As I sit here and pen this open letter to you, I want you to know it’s going to be long. For I have a lot to say to you and I’m ready to get it out. No longer will I remain quiet because I’m sad and ashamed I failed at keeping my special someone yet again. I’ve been in relationships where I was happy, and I felt loved. One time, I gave love only to find out the relationship was based on false pretenses. When I thought I found the one for me, I endured disappointment because the one for me wanted me to give up my identity to be with them.

As I look back, I can spot a lot of things I could’ve done different. Maybe changing a few things would’ve made them work. On more than one occasion, I’m glad I left because I didn’t want to be treated horribly by the person who said they loved me but didn’t. Other times I stayed, knowing I disapproved of their dreadful habits. However, as time moved on, I hated the person because of their awful demeanor. I couldn’t stay there anymore. I hold the blame for this because I settled for someone who I wasn’t compatible with so I wouldn’t be lonely. As a result, the two of us went our separate ways.

I’m unpacking my bags, because I’m tired of bearing this heavy load. For way too long, have I let this thing called happiness slip through my slim fingers. Insecurities, not being pretty enough, not being smart enough, and being told no one would ever want you. Being told you will never succeed with your goals and dreams. I allowed a former significant other to impact my next relationship because of all the damage I suffered beforehand.

Bringing them with me instead of dealing with them before I entered a new relationship caused me to start the same cycle again. After I took the time to learn to love myself, I realized I had been carrying the weight of all the horrid events that occurred in my life. With clear eyes, I see better. I understand what I want in a relationship and what I don’t. Things I find unsavory in their ways which might cause harm to them or myself, I will not even go near.

How will I recognize when the right one comes? Well God will tell me. But in the meantime, loving me is the best thing that ever happened to me. So, as I end this lengthy letter to you, I can smile and say Dear Love, I’ve Unpacked my Baggage.

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Happy One Year Anniversary

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One year ago, today I set out to start a blog to create a place where you could find faith inspired books and articles for encouragement. For years, I had been posting inspirational quotes on my Instagram page, so this was nothing new to me. What was new to me was realizing how much I truly loved it. The more I wrote, the more I wanted to write. I fell in love with writing all over again. Writing pieces that touch others make my heart sing.

Whether you’ve been with me all year or just started following me. Thank you so much for reading my blog. Thank you for your likes, comments and shares. They mean the world to me. My writing critique partner Stephanie once said that my articles sound like we are sitting around having a conversation. Well to that I say, grab a cup of tea, coffee or your favorite beverage because I’ve only just begun.

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