Be the Fantastic You, You Are

By

Desiree Future

Recently, I ran into an old friend of mine. We’ve known each other for more than thirty years. He was like the little brother I never had. Many, many moons later we both have grown children of our own.

We talked and reminisced for a while about the good times we had as young kids. Also spoke about the ones we sadly lost along the way. Then our conversation shifted to our love lives.

Or for me, my lack of one. I told him I was single because I stopped settling for men, I was not entirely happy with. I kept going into less-than-desirable relationships so I wouldn’t be alone.

After doing that for so long, I didn’t know the person in the mirror staring at me. Nor was I happy with myself for being with someone that I was not compatible with. I didn’t even know the kind of men I preferred.

That is until my friend pointed out to me about a year ago, that my first choice was my second. Turns out I was so accustomed to accepting second best, that I automatically chose second instead of first. But now that I’m older and wiser I know the type of men that make me smile bright as the sun.

Have you ever toned down your bubbly personality or even ramped up your soft-spoken one to catch the eye of an attractive counterpart? I was that woman but I quickly realized that I was lying to both him and myself by being someone I was not. Not a good way to start.

After going in circles on the crazy hamster wheel, I had to get off. I was going nowhere fast by constantly settling. So I decided it was time to go after my first choice o I could be truly happy.

My friend told me that he and his girlfriend were taking a break. They were not able to get on the same page and thought it best to take time away from each other. He wanted one thing and she wanted something entirely different. A separation was surely needed to figure things out.

He went on to explain he’d compromise on so many things but now it was getting to be too much for him. He felt like he was always having to do things he didn’t want to in order to make her happy. Meanwhile, she was not doing the same for him. My childhood friend was simply unhappy with his spouse.

As someone who is not a licensed professional in relationships, I can say that love is complicated. Sure love makes you do crazy things. Including settling for less and compromising until there’s no more to compromise. Then what do you do or where do you go?

The key here is that to be able to love anyone you must first love yourself. I mean love yourself to the point where there won’t be any room for negativity in your life. No room to jeopardize your integrity and character to please someone else.

Be the fantastic you that you are, and your great counterpart will see your glow and find you. Just like Michael Jackson who played the Scarecrow and Diana Ross who played Dorothy in the 1978 movie The Wiz, don’t you carry nothing that might be a load, ease on down the road.