Breathe and Be Happy

By

Desiree Future

I was taking the bus one day because if I drove to work in the snowy weather, I wouldn’t have a parking space when I returned home. Taking public transportation is very fascinating because you never know what characters or interesting things you might see.

As a lifelong resident of my hometown, I’ve lived in four of the over five zip codes. Whether driving or walking by a particular place, a memory always pops into my mind. This time it took me back some thirty-plus years ago.

I was attending a business school and was trying to find myself. Looking for something but was not sure what it was. During a break, I remember sitting on a window seat and looking out onto the busy street.

Directly across I saw the Army Reserve office. You know the place where they recruit young people which I was then. All I could think of was getting out of the large city where it was simply too much of everything for me. Most people want to get out of small towns and go to the big cities but not me. I wanted to get out of the large city for any other town.

Was there something wrong with me or was I just having a moment of what to do after school? That was a good question I was looking to find the answer to. Did I want to go into the service like so many of my family members or was it an escape?

To be honest it was an escape because I was trying to run away as an adult. Needing to get away from everything that caused me harm I saw that as my way out.

That memory flooded my mind as if it had just happened. Funny how certain places or things bring back vivid memories. Some you want to remember and others you’d rather keep locked away in your memory bank.

Many years later, the business school has closed, the Army Reserve office has relocated, and I never enlisted. Moving around my city was a way of distancing myself without being too far.

What I’ve learned as I matured is that you can move to the other side of the equator but it won’t make the emotional wounds heal. You must make a conscious decision to be happy. And that means letting go of everyone and everything that hurt you.

While recovering from any illness, you are told not to do certain things so you can heal properly. If you have a broken foot the doctor will tell you not to walk on it. In the case that, you have high blood pressure, you’re advised to avoid high-sodium foods.

It’s the same thing with emotions. You can’t get better if you keep returning to the things that hurt you.

So, as I rode by my old school turned office building and the Army Reserve, which is now a store, I no longer wanted to escape somewhere new. Okay, maybe I did want to travel to a warm tropical island until the snowy winter goes away. But no longer was I running away from turmoil.

Instead, I was headed to a place where I was stress-free. That place is in my heart because I gave God all my burdens so I can breathe and be happy. What a wonderful feeling that is.