From a Black Sheep to A Beautiful Swan

By

Desiree Future

For as long as I can remember I’ve heard the term Black Sheep. As a little girl growing up in the seventies, I didn’t quite understand.

My skin looked different from that of my siblings, I wore eyeglasses at an early age and unbeknownst to my parents my skin being different was really a skin disorder. With a gap in my teeth, a skin disorder, and burn scars from an accident covering one hand and my feet I was surely different from others.

Those things made me stand out like a sore thumb, not in a good way. You see, because this dark-skinned child had what looked like freckles covering my entire face. It’s not something that can be easily covered as a child.

The gap in my teeth was another part that made me stand out. Teased and taunted because of it, I rarely smiled showing my teeth. By chance, if you saw a picture of me showing my teeth that was like gold because it seldom happened.

Now as for the severe burns I suffered as a toddler, well let’s say kids can be curious. I got into something that caused third-degree burns that never went away. Every time I look at my hand and feet, I’m reminded of the story behind them.

Let’s see, I have a skin disorder, wear glasses, gap in my front teeth, and badly burned skin. That’s a lot for a child or even an adult to cope with. No one looked like me and I didn’t look like anyone.

Some people can be mean. From being harassed and made fun of to being treated downright horribly is what I endured. All because my teeth weren’t straight, my face wasn’t without blemish, I wore glasses, and my scars disgusted people.

If you’re asking yourself ‘How can kids be so mean?’ That’s a very good question that should be directed to their parents because I’ve received the same treatment from adults. Yes, even grown folks have treated me the same.

Researching the term Black Sheep, I came up with several meanings. One dictionary describes it as a disfavored or disreputable member of a group. Another dictionary defines it as a person who causes shame or embarrassment because of deviation from the accepted standards.

I find it ironic how the definitions are clearly not written for the person being called the black sheep. But they are written for the person who doesn’t agree with things not being the same. Instead, they would rather ridicule and demean you.

What some people don’t know is after being tagged that name for so long you yourself start to believe it. You think there is something wrong with you because you don’t fit in. Maybe if you changed your appearance, got a new wardrobe and a better car you wouldn’t have that stigma.

I was given the label because my reflection didn’t mirror theirs. Now you may be thinking, why would I listen to what someone else says about my life? Well, when you’re looking to be a part of something, but you are constantly being rejected, you believe that you must be an outcast.

I endured mental abuse all in the name of trying to squeeze in with a group. The more I tried the more I felt defeated and disheartened. Trust me, many tears followed.

What I’ve learned is that the people who’ve pigeonholed me as being unfavored are the same people who have many problems. They treat me like an outcast because I am not like them, or anyone else, and that scares them. It scares them because I’m happy being the way God made me.

Getting up the nerve to distance myself from the mental pain was the hardest thing I had to do. However, it felt like God had lifted a boulder off my shoulders I had been carrying for decades. Oh, and the joy I felt.

No longer being with the labelers was an all-new experience for me. Now, the delight of being contented and full of peace was overwhelming.

Going to the movies alone – check. Going on vacation alone – check. Smiling and showing the gorgeous gap in my teeth – check. Not being afraid to show my burn scars – check. Embracing the beautiful me I see in the mirror every day – check.

When I stopped allowing them to tell me I was unworthy, that is when I blossomed into the beautiful swan before you. Psalm 139: 13-14 For you formed my inward parts: you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.