Dear Low Self-Esteem, You’ve Been Replaced with Self-Love

By

Desiree Future

Recently, I took a look back over my life as my past came knocking on my door. It seems that, over the last few years, it has come in one way or another. Each time it comes, it causes me to really take a look at my life.

A few years ago, someone I had dated years before contacted me through social media. After being with that person for four years, our relationship was over. It was not mutual, nor was it easy to move on.

We loved each but in the end, we were two different people going opposite ways. I cut off all contact with him because I needed to be free. This woman needed a new start.

Finally, after healing and moving on with my life, I felt like a new person. Then, out of the blue, I get a message from him. First, I looked at it in disbelief. I mean, why would he video message me after our split was terrible? Just like I had changed, I figured maybe he had too.

We caught up on what each other had been doing in the last few years. As well as where our current careers have taken us.

I didn’t want to rehash the past because it was just that. The past. He mentioned that our breakup was solely my fault. I braced myself for what was coming next. I should have ended the call, but for some reason, I didn’t.

Listening to his version as if I didn’t live it, I let him go on. Maybe he needed to get it off his chest. When he was through, I took a deep breath before beginning. Only God could speak for me at this point.

Joyfully, I told him that I had learned to love myself during our years apart. Taken myself to places I’ve always wanted to go and do things I’ve always wanted to do.

I’d experienced something called self-love. What it had taught me was that I didn’t need anyone’s validation but God’s. It also helped me to see that my vision was cloudy because I had low self-esteem. That in turn led me to make poor choices.

Through my growth, I learned that I deserve to be happy. My smile needs to be seen, and my voice needs to be heard.

Explaining that it takes two people for a relationship, I apologized for my role. The demise of our romantic tale lay between us both, not just me.

Wishing him the best in his life, we ended the call. Hearing his statement made me glad we broke up.

Having low self-esteem will cause you to stay in places where you should not. Like being in a relationship where you are not happy. But your low self-esteem says it’s better than being alone.

You may be belittled, berated, and even verbally abused, but you take it because it seems that person cares. That is your reasoning behind staying in that place.

My question is, when do you get to be happy? When do you get to smile and really mean it? When do you get to matter?

After my breakup, I asked myself all these questions and more. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It seemed like all my relationships had the same pattern. This young lady was repeating the same cycle, expecting different results.

A change was needed in my life. It started by figuring out who Desiree Future was. Praying for healing and guidance, I asked God for help.

God had transformed me, and low self-esteem was replaced with Self-Love. I thank the Lord for showing me what Self-Love truly is. It has allowed me to see the unpleasant mistakes of the past. This woman will not repeat at all.

Sometimes God allows you to go through trials to make you stronger. Well, I am grateful for this trial as it has taught me so many valuable lessons.

Psalm 139:14 NIV You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.